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Coffee Chats: 3 Things to Know ~ Go From Crush to Dating

P.S. All the pictures in this post are from before Israel and I started dating!

It’s a beautiful 70 degree day here in Virginia, the flowers are in full bloom, and I got to go on a long run this morning! πŸ™‚ Today we will be talking about taking risks on love. This topic has been on my heart lately. While Β Israel and I have been dating for several years now, I do know some people who are single. I’ve been observing these people a lot and it brings me back to those early days with Israel. I wanted to give my advice to all of you who really like someone but are too afraid or nervous to do anything about it. So grab a cup of coffee and let’s chat!

Today’s cup of joe is a plain ole’ cup of Folgers Coffee. I recently found a brand new hazelnut coffee creamer made with almond milk by Coffee Mate. I’ve tried several almond milk/coconut milk creamers and just haven’t found one that I like until now. It’s from their Natural Bliss line of products. It might not be the most “clean” coffee creamer out there but taking into consideration how it tastes and it’s non dairy, it’s a win in my boat. πŸ™‚

Let’s Assess the Situation

To start, I want you to think about how long you’ve liked this person you are interested in. Is it a few weeks, months, years? No matter how long it is, it’s important to assess how serious you are about you’re feelings. Ask yourself: Could you see yourself with this person? If you are committed to finding out, then it’s time to do something about it.

I’ve discovered, it is not even about commitment, most of the time your heart just chooses who it is attracted to. You won’t be able to stop thinking about them, no matter how much you might want to. I don’t think we choose who we fall in love with. God and our hearts choose for us. Whether or not we choose to act on it, is in our own hands. You’ll never know unless you try.

( Our Very First Picture Together)

Guys Aren’t Always Going to Initiate

I think a lot of girls believe that the guy is supposed to do something first. The guy is supposed to pursue you. Are you insecure? Are you shy? Maybe nervous? I guarantee you, that the guy you like is just as nervous, possibly insecure, and scared as you are. No matter how confident he may seem around his friends, I promise you he has something he is insecure about. The guy who looks like he has it all together, probably has things going on at home you aren’t even aware of. Trust me, when I tell you guys can be just as vulnerable and insecure as girls. Also everyone is afraid of rejection. You’re going to have to do something that shows him you’re interested in him. I don’t mean just sending a snapchat to him or standing in the same room as him.

Nothing Safe is Worth the Time

If you take anything away from this it’s thatΒ Nothing Safe is worth the Time. Playing it safe, might make you feel comfortable and in your comfort zone, but what will you reap from that?

It’s like with investing. Yes, I’m comparing love to investing. If you invest a little bit of money into stocks you know are safe, then you might reap a little money. Β If you invest money into a stock that might be a little more riskier, it is possible you lose your money on it, but it’s also possible you hit the jackpot. Taking risk comes with well, risk, but the potential reward is greater then anything you can imagine. What do you have to lose? While the worst thing that could happen is that the other person doesn’t feel the same way, imagine what the best thing could be.

I know it’s disappointing when it does not go the way you want. I know it’s heartbreaking, especially if you’ve invested a lot of time in liking this person, but would you rather live in regret? Would you rather regret never knowing. I know I would’ve regretted not putting myself out there enough to find out if Israel liked me back. It was completely out of my comfort zone.

( We didn’t know our picture was being taken)

Put Yourself Out there

Let me tell you about myself in high school. I was a girl who “dated” a guy (if that’s what you want to call a relationship that consisted of holding hands in the hallway) for a month. It was valentines day and he asked if he could kiss me. I saidΒ no.Β I was terrified, I was terrified of messing it up. I didn’t know what I was doing, I’d never “dated” anyone before. Fast forward to Israel (my first real relationship), and I had to put myself out there or I knew if I hid behind my insecurities there would be no chance of ever being with him. I knew I had to take a risk.

It was uncomfortable, I was scared of rejection, I over analyzed everything I did, and I was anxious. I really liked Israel and thankfully he shared the feeling. After a few months of hanging out with our mutual friends and running on the cross country team together, he finally took my phone and put his number in it one morning while we were hanging out with our friends before class. We had spent a few weekends hanging out together with our friends, let alone all the cross country team dinners, and daily practices. We had been spending a lot of time together which led to plenty of time to talk. Confession: I purposely held a team dinner at my house to impress him & my coaches. πŸ˜‰

Anyways, I had to go out of my way to talk to him, and he started reciprocating. I’m extremely introverted, so that was hard for me. I was probably awkward and I had to plan out what I was going to say. Luckily, we had mutual friends so I could ask him how he knew them and talk about running. After 3 months of just talking more, starting to text, and then hanging out with our mutual friends together, it was new years. There are so many details of things that happened in those three months but it would take forever to write them all out. In summary, at midnight on New years he said “kiss?” and I went for it. I put myself out there, even if I thought I might completely miss his lips and kiss his nose. :/

Fast Forward a few days and I was asking him to come with me to my Grandfather’s funeral. Reminder: We weren’t dating yet, and he hadn’t asked me out.Β I contemplated texting him about it for hours. At about 2am I decided to ask him. Β I just knew I’d feel a little more comfortable if he was there. Talk about taking a risk. Thankfully he agreed and he asked me out the week after the funeral. Β The rest was history after that. πŸ™‚

3 Takeaways

  1. Guys aren’t always going to initiate. They most likely have the same nerves and fears as you.
  2. Playing it safe probably won’t get you anywhere.
  3. Put Yourself Out There
  4. BONUS: Don’t live in regret. If you never find out what could have been, you will regret it.

 

Life is too Short, You have to go for it.

“Two headlights shine through the sleepless night
And I will get you, and get you alone
Your name has echoed through my mind
And I just think you should, think you should know
That nothing safe is worth the drive and I would
Follow you, follow you home…
I’ll follow you, follow you home…”

Let me know your thoughts and questions below!

xoxo,

 

 

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